Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Room For One More

Well, many of you already know that we are in the process of adopting two boys, ages 9 and 12, from Eastern Europe. When Norman and I were deciding which children to request we were in complete confusion!! We had no idea how parents made this life-changing decision! There were SO MANY children we wanted to commit to and we knew we had to narrow it down to two. Our plan was to adopt one little boy, close in age to our 3-year-old son, and one older boy, close in age to our 10-year-old son. But after watching videos of the children, we fell in love with “Chase” and “Max” and decided on no little ones for the time being. Though we were approved for three…..

While we were looking for children, we had found this little five-year-old boy on our agency’s web site. He has a whole host of problems—situs inversus, meaning all of his abdominal organs are on the opposite side of the body than they are supposed to be. But he has a normal positioned heart, which is considered a serious defect (would have been better if the heart was also reversed). He isn’t a candidate for heart surgery, and doctors can’t predict how long he will live. On top of that he has Goldenhar Syndrome—which affects the heart, ears, mouth, nose, and face—he has no auditory canal, severe cleft palate, half of his face is not as developed as the other side, etc.. The first time I read his profile, I got through about half of his medical report before closing out the page, thinking “This little one has way too much going on. Poor guy!”

We were very happy with our decision to adopt “Max” and “Chase” but we kept thinking about adding a little boy to our adoption as well. I think it was July when something made us review “Tyler’s” medical information for the second time, and this time we did our research, contacted a cardiologist, got more information from his orphanage, etc. We wanted to know, “Will he live a long life?” This is all that mattered to us. We knew that we could deal with all of his surgeries and the fact that he cannot yet speak and that he is developmentally delayed. We just wanted to be assured that he wouldn’t die in his childhood or even young adulthood. But with all of the searching and questions, we were never able to get our answer. No one could predict how long he will live with his condition—maybe short, maybe long.

So we (or actually I) put “Tyler” on the backburner. I didn’t think it was a “good idea” for our children—especially “Max” and “Chase” to get attached to a little brother only to have him die. They have had enough loss in their lives…why knowingly put them through more? I started looking into other little boys available for adoption. I even made a poster of all the children we were considering—from three different countries, between the ages of 2 and 6—all with different types of needs….but none who were likely to die.  Little “Tyler” was on our poster but didn’t have a “star” by his picture (those were reserved for the boys we were particularly leaning towards). And I started detaching myself from him, feeling “peace” about our (my) decision not to request him.

Then, this past Sunday we were invited to share our adoption story with a Brazilian church in the Atlanta area. We sang a couple of songs, played our video, and then talked about adoption. But what was really special about the service was the pastor’s preaching. I don’t remember it well enough to re-preach it to you, but the voice I heard through the pastor said this, “God has an anointing for you. If it is something you can do in your own power and strength, then that is NOT your anointing. His anointing can only be accomplished through HIS strength, and it will be something that is evident for others around you to see. You can hide from it and not walk in his anointing if you choose to. But if you move forward and walk in his anointing, God will do great things through your life!”

Then, the next day, during home schooling, our bible reading was about God telling the Israelites to cross into the Promised Land. But the twelve spies (except for Joshua and Caleb) said the people there were too big and strong for them and they were afraid they’d die if they went. Even though God clearly told them to go! They didn’t trust him to give them the supernatural ability to do what he asked of them. So they wasted their lives, wandering in a desert for 40 years. I found myself reiterating to my kids, “If God wants you to do something but you are too afraid and so you say no, you will end up wasting a lot of your life.”

Now, there isn’t a “smack in the face” clear correlation proving that these two biblical studies mean that Norman and I should adopt “Tyler.” But something spoke to my heart to soften me once again towards him. Norman was never afraid of the possibility that he could die young. “Death has no victory! Praise God if he dies and lives with Jesus in Heaven! At least he had a family and wasn’t rejected on earth because of how he looks or because of his disabilities.” I now can say I really agree with him. And what’s more, if he were to die, I know that MY son is waiting for me…..I will see him again in Heaven one day and will have the privilege of being the one woman who can claim to be his mother!

So, to make a long story short, we are requesting a match with “Tyler”. He’s from the same country as “Max” and “Chase” and we should hear in a few weeks whether or not we are approved to adopt him. Our home study and USCIS approve us for three, but whether or not his country’s government will approve us is another story—we leave it in God’s hands. We are praying for him that God supernaturally heals him. That his blood oxygen level would go from 84 to 100. That his heart chambers will work perfectly, even with the awkward positioning of the organs. NOTHING is too difficult for God and we will speak health and life over his little body every day. Our desire for him and for all of our children is that they grow up to know and serve the Lord. That HE becomes their greatest desire and reward. That they know his love and grasp the awe behind the fact that he ADOPTED us and sits us together in heavenly places with Jesus!!

Now, for any of you reading this who have even slightly considered adopting a waiting child, I would like to share with you some of the little boys I just LOVE so much who we really wanted to pick but for some reason God led us to others instead. Maybe God will allow us to help them find families, even if they couldn’t become our sons.

This little love “Brett” is one of the first boys I fell in love with. If he doesn’t find a mom and dad soon, I won’t be surprised if I go to his country and get him as fast as I can.

This little guy “Kurt” was one of the first we looked into also. His needs are very minor and to be honest, we didn’t pursue him because we figured he’d be very easy to match with a family.

Same with this little boy, “Kristopher” He has HIV, which is extremely manageable. To be honest, we were looking for children with more serious needs than he has. Isn’t he cute?

"Ted" is another one with HIV--a very mild special need.  He seems like such a sweet boy!

 This little love, “Ivan” really pulls at my heart. He is so adorable and has a look of determination in his eyes. He needs a lot of therapy and could really thrive with a family.

This gorgeous boy, “Asa” tugs at my heart as well. If we had a house even remotely wheelchair adaptable, I would love to bring him home. And who knows if maybe he is in our future…… But time is running out and he needs a family quickly!!

These are just a handful of precious children who are available for adoption.  There are so many on the Reece's Rainbow site, and from other agencies as well.   I'm not allowed to share many of them here--I'm not even supposed to share the children we are matched with until after we go for our first visit.  After that we'll have lots of pictures up.  I'll keep everyone posted as to whether we get matched with "Tyler" or not.  In the meantime, please believe with us for God to do something really wonderful through his life.  There is something very special about this boy and we know the Lord loves him so much!!  Blessings :)

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